I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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