2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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