Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
