There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
