porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
