I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
