I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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