white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
