This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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