it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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