So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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