Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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