either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
