Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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