So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
