Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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