A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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