Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
