On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
