he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
