Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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