return my video game
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
