i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
