Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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