I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
