i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
