what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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