He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
