I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
