Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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