I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
