I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
