it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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