I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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