I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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