did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
