I think my vagina is haunted
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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