dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
