I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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