I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
