is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
