Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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