yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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