Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
