We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
