Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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