Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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