I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
