I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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