Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
