Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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